Pardoning someone means to forgive and overlook a persons wrong doing. It is an inward and outward act of truly letting go of any ill thoughts or feeling that are in your heart.
Forgiving someone who has wronged you is quite often the most difficult thing for us, we find it so difficult to forget what they did, what they said and how it made us feel, yet it is this very characteristic that may be the key to our salvation insha’Allah.
Pardoning is one of the attributes of Allah ﷻ, He ﷻ describes Himself as ‘The Most Merciful, The Most Forgiving’. Allah loves to pardon and forgive and also loves this characteristic in His slaves.
Allah says in the Quran:
‘Let them pardon and forgive. Would you not like God to forgive you And God is Forgiving, Merciful.’ [Quran 24:22]
This verse of the Quran was revealed after Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه stated that he would withhold his financial help from his cousin, Mistah ibn Uthaathah رضي الله عنه, who was poor and completely dependent on Abu Bakr for his livelihood.
Mistah ibn Uthaathah has been involved with the public slander of Abu Bakr’s daughter Aisha and despite Abu Bakr’s رضي الله عنه generosity to him he still publicly tried to shame her in spreading the false allegations. These were later rebuked by a verse that was revealed to the prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم. After these verses were revealed not only did Abu Bakr forgive but also increased the financial help that he was giving to Mistah Ibn Uthaathah.
The verse that was revealed in the blessed Quran, is telling us that despite someone doing wrong to you, it is better than you pardon and forgive them. Do we want Allah سبحانه و تعالى to forgive us, if so we must learn to forgive others and be merciful with them.
Upon reading this story and reflecting on the ayahs of the Quran we can see that there is a strong connection with how we treat people and how Allah treats us. It isn’t all about the other person or what they did, it’s about us and how we are on the inside. If we can’t forgive others: our children, family, friends, people around us then we should not expect Allah to forgive our wrongdoings.
As we have seen the verse of Quran and Hadith show that we should pardon one another if we wish to gain Allah’s pleasure and if we sincerely love Allah then we must learn to forgive.
Allah says in the Quran:
‘And who restrain anger and who pardon the people’ [Quran 3:134]
This verse in the Quran talks about controlling our anger, encouraging us not to do anything in the spur of moment but to instead restrain ourselves.
Many of the big problems between family and friends happen due to not having that control in the moment of anger and also due to not forgiving one another. As time goes on we remember and hold on to our negatives thoughts for one another and over time this can breed animosity and hate for each other. These traits are directly in opposition of what Islam promotes, instead we should be torch bearers of love and peace. Contrarily today we see countless examples of siblings who do not talk to one another, failed marriages, problems between parents and their children and even rivalry between different mosques. If only we took Allah’s guidance and incorporated it in to our lives we would have so much more easier and harmonious lives.
The prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
‘Real patience is that which is showed at the first stroke of grief’
‘The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Allah treats us based on how we are in ourselves and how we are with others, no person can succeed in isolation to others. Just performing obligatory acts and constantly working on outer perfectionism isn’t what will lead to Allah’s pleasure.
This Ramadan may Allah ﷻ give us the ability to forgive others and not hold grudges in our heart, may we truly reach deep down in our hearts and forgive for the sake of Allah’s ﷻ and His pleasure. Ameen.